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Hollow Weenies and Other Samhain Nonsesnse
by Sheela Ardrian
Holidays bring out the best and the worst in people. On the bright side, you get lots of festivities
and chances to meet new friends. On
the not-so-bright side, all kinds of creeps come crawling out of the woodwork. You can stay focused and still have fun. If you make a few minor mistakes, it’s not the end
of the world, though.
Back when I was about sixteen, I had just discovered
contemporary Paganism. My cousins
were of an age to go trick-or-treating.
I went with them, and we yelled “Happy Sam-hain!” on about twenty doorsteps. Fortunately nobody had a clue. This was back in the Middle Ages of Paganism when
there were a few books available, but not many, and they were hard to find.
Today there are scads of books – more than you know what to
do with, in fact. So here are a few
tips that may help keep you on the right track.
Five Really Dumb Things People Believe Anyway
1. The word
“Samhain” comes from a nasty god.
Nope. It means “summer’s end” and
marks one boundary between the light and dark halves of the year. The other boundary is Beltane. So from Beltane to Samhain is Celtic summer, and
from Samhain to Beltane is Celtic winter.
2. All Witches
worship naked. This one has a grain
of truth to it. Some Witches, and
other Pagans, do worship in the nude – sometimes.
Samhain is not a favorite time of the year for this.
In most parts of the United
States, you’d freeze your keester off!
3. Witches put
spells in food which they then serve to unsuspecting victims. On the contrary, Witches have strong ethics about
not working magic on anyone without permission.
So go right ahead and attend that Pagan cookout you got invited to. You don’t have to worry about biting into a hot
dog full of Love Potion #9.
4. Witches
sacrifice black cats on Samhain. I
don’t know about you, but all the Witches I know, and most Pagans in general,
are if not cat lovers at least respectful of their rights as little furry
lifeforms. Many help to support
their local animal shelters or similar worthy causes.
5. Samhain
rituals include a Black Mass and summoning spirits of the evil dead. The whole “Black Mass” thing is a weird idea
cooked up during the Inquisition.
Witches and other Pagans have their own rites, and no interest in parodying
somebody else’s. They may honor
their ancestral spirits at this time of year, but there is nothing evil about
it and the spirits are not asked to do anything more than watch over the
family/coven, if that.
Five Important Points To Remember
1. The word
“Samhain” is properly pronounced “SOW-en” or “SAH-vin,” not “sam-hane.” It is also not pronounced like the name of a fish. Don’t laugh, now – it really is said the way it’s
spelled. Celtic languages use a
somewhat different spelling system than English uses.
2. Even within the
Pagan community, different people celebrate the same holidays in different ways. If you plan to attend ritual with a group that you
don’t ordinarily practice with, it’s polite to ask ahead of time how they do
things.
3. This holiday
moves some potent energy. Do what
you need in order to stay grounded.
Make sure you get enough to eat and sleep.
Candy is not a substitute for a square meal.
You don’t want to do an intense ritual – or even a lively party – on an empty
tank, physically or spiritually.
4. Do take the
time to read up on Halloween and Samhain customs.
This improves your chances of having a successful ritual, or a fun conversation
with more experienced Pagans.
Jack-o-lanterns, masks, bonfires, and trick-or-treating have some fascinating
history behind them.
5. You can’t
argue effectively with someone who has pumpkin guts for brains. No matter how calmly and carefully you explain
your religious beliefs and practices, some people will wig out. It does no good, and may do harm, to press the
point too far. Exercise your smile
muscles and politely disengage yourself from the conversation.
Conclusions
Samhain
offers a wonderful chance to explore your Witchy identity.
You can dress up as a Goddess or your power animal or an abstract virtue. You can dress the same way as always and when
people ask what you are, you say, “I’m a Witch.”
You can be quiet about it or flamboyant.
But chances are, if you’re far enough along to be reading this magazine, there
will be something interesting going on in your life on October 31. Be ready for whatever that is.
* * *
“Hollow
Weenies and Other Samhain Nonsense” first appeared in newWitch magazine.
* * *
Bio
Sheela
Ardrian lives with her partner Dave in an elegant Victorian house in the middle
of nowhere. Her favorite fields of writing are gender
studies, erotica, and alternative sexualities; her preferred style is off the
wall and beyond the pale. Previous credits include the essay “What
Keeps a Writer Going? Life as a Fluffy Pink Bunny” in Fearless Books; poetry
“Dreaming of Blodeuwydd” in Harrington Lesbian Fiction Quarterly Vol.
7, No. 2, 2006 and “Driftwood” in
Khimairal Ink Volume 2, Number 1, May 2006;
and reviews in The Lesbian Review of Books, newWitch, Fearless Books. Her hobbies
include frightening the horses and rocking the boat.
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